Breaking in New Sandals

 

This is an annual ordeal.  Every single year, I have to buy and break in a new pair of shoes – actually, sport sandals – since I wear them out and wear them down in this heat.  My feet are extremely sensitive to abrasion, and always have been.  And I do not wear socks in this climate, so my feet get ripped up when breaking in a new pair.  I always carry a roll of athletic tape in my backpack to patch up wounds on my feet while on the march. 

I always go with sandals from The North Face, a great company, and until this year they had one model that I bought for three straight years, which broke in more easily since the contact points with my feet were identical.  Well, they discontinued this model, and I had to pick a new one.  It is wonderfully cushioned and soft on the footbed, but the ankle and toe straps are different, thus harsh. 

For many years, I had made the mistake of trying to break in new sandals in the Hot Season – not good.  Then I wised up and started breaking them in during the Cool Season.  But, in recent years, our Cool Season has experienced the bane of toxic PM2.5 air pollution, which makes marching hazardous and less regular. 

My sandals wear down from hard use, but also from my sweat in this humidity.  By the time one year of use comes round at the Hot Season, they smell.  And when the Rainy Season hits us in around June, and I stomp through tropical puddles, their wet smell is intolerable and cannot be disguised.  So, I have to semi-retire them annually. 

Slowly, painfully, I’m breaking in the new pair for short jaunts, while still wearing the old for long hard marches.  This is a cycle I’ve come to live with.  But I always carry a roll of tape. 

-Zenwind. 

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Seasons

The Cool Season is over, and heat and humidity are again our normal condition every day and night.  Sweat city.  The toxic PM2.5 air pollution is still a problem, yet we are occasionally getting windy weather that thins it out a bit.  We still wear face masks for pandemic hygiene, but I am more concerned about the dirty PM2.5 air so I always wear a tight-fitting N95 mask when out and about. 

We are definitely into the beginnings of our Hot Season (until the Rainy Season gives us brief moments of respite starting, maybe, in June or July).  After all these years living here (and a year in Vietnam half a century ago), I still cannot comprehend how hot the tropics are.  It is a shock to this body, whose ancestral origins came from northern Europe. 

Today we had some rumblings of thunder and dark clouds – a bit unusual for March – so I took an umbrella with me on my neighborhood errands (e.g., to the pet store, etc.).  As I stepped outside, I had a classic memory of my father:  there was a unique coolness and scent upon the breeze, reminding me of my youth when he used to say, “It feels like it has rained somewhere!”  Indeed, it had rained somewhere, but we didn’t get any of it except for just the hint in the brief cool breeze. 

By the time I was lugging pet supplies and groceries back home, the sun was out again and “coolness” was a concept deleted from consciousness.  I arrived back home completely soaked, head to toe, in sweat. 

The pubs have just been reopened again, so I may venture into the city soon to visit my friends at The Rock Pub.  Movie selections are still thin, but I have some explorations in mind in the city, as there are food markets I want to check out for specific healthy selections.  Public transit is better than ever now, so it is much more comfortable to travel than it was five years ago. 

My physical strength has declined – and this really alarms me since I’ve always strived to be fit – and I blame most of this on my enforced physical inactivity in the last few years due to the PM2.5 pollution.  And, of course, part of it may be that I am getting older! 

(How did that ancient Indian sage explain it?  “Dukkha”, i.e., the impermanence of life and the entire suite of disappointments connected with comprehending that reality.  Accepting that reality was the first task; letting go of negative reactions to these facts of life was the important second task; then there is the experiencing of this blissful release; and finally, cultivating the optimal ethical path going forward.) 

I think it was the Rolling Stones who sang, “What a drag it is getting old.”  But – besides the physical limitations – I still feel incredibly young at heart. 

-Zenwind. 

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February, late post

 

I am way behind on posting here, as I had always promised to post at least monthly, yet I didn’t post at all in January.  I do apologize.  But not much has been happening here to report on. 

We are doing well here.  The Cool Season had many more “cold” days than is usual in January, and that made taking a shower a brutal experience – since we have never had a hot water heater in our house.  The relatively colder water, plus the cool north wind blowing through my outdoor shower, made for a shocking and eye-opening wakeup. 

Movie selections in the cinemas are thin, and pubs (such as my home-away-from-home Rock Pub) are still closed.  So, there is not much reason for venturing far and away except to markets for specialized food items. 

The toxic PM2.5 air pollution has stopped me from long neighborhood walks.  We wear masks for Covid, but more for the air pollution.  Again, it is farmers burning rice stubble and cane that cause this pollution (with no wind to disperse the particulate matter), and the government won’t do anything because like all politicians they are whores to populist votes - with no concern for the rights of others to be free from the dirty drifting of toxins into their private spaces.  

I haven’t been using my laptop much, because sitting at it causes great discomfort.  Sitting + typing = Fibromyalgia pain.  I have pain in my hips when sitting too long, and then I’m awake with pain all night. 

It is much more comfortable to read all online content on my tablet, when I can sit, recline, stand, walk around, or lie back in bed – and I do read, obsessively.   My physical comfort prescribes tablet use – yet it is not easy to type on a tablet, thus my silences. 

I have many, many writings in draft – personal correspondence to family and friends, movie and book reviews, and philosophical rants.  Stay tuned, for I may someday publish them. 

-Zenwind. 

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Happy New Year, with caveats

 

Happy New Year!  (To anyone who possibly might ever access this obscure monthly blog.) 

2020 was a crazy year in so many ways, but maybe we can, eventually, recover from it – because humanity has proven remarkably resilient through time, with the West surviving the profoundly stupid and irrational medieval Dark Ages that followed the collapse of ancient Classical Civilization and then reigniting and carrying the torch of Reason and Liberty through to our own times.  Human history, in overall sum, is a magnificent success story.  As a cynical optimist, I do see light ahead. 

I probably won’t see, within my own lifetime, radical Individual Freedom, and the strict limitation of any coercive power by governments, restored to the levels that America’s Founders (mostly) intended, but I am confident that later generations will discover it again.  Young people are always the shining hope.  History, for all its many disappointing regressions, implies that rationality often can gain the upper hand against ignorant superstition, emotional impulses toward surrender to tyrannical statist controls, and against the idea that some of us have the (fatal) conceit that we can dictate what others can do, peacefully, with our lives, liberty, pursuits of happiness, and with our justly acquired property. 

And America has regressed, egregiously.  For over a century and a half, civil and economic liberties have been violated by populist-demanded government decree. 

(Socialism, whether strict Marxist or of the “democratic” flavor, is not the main threat, since pure economic socialism demonstrably impoverishes all the citizenry except for the government elite.  E.g., think, Venezuela, Cuba, North Korea, the former USSR, Africa, etc.  It is economic idiocy and always crashes.  “Social ownership” of the means of production – outside of small cooperative ownership arrangements by consenting individuals within a free enterprise environment – almost always means government ownership.  And government control of the economic “means of production” has never worked.  But letting free individuals make their own economic decisions, under a rule of law, encourages cooperation, innovation, and such increased productivity that it raises the masses out of crushing poverty, and Marx even admitted this in The Communist Manifesto.  This is what history demonstrates.  “Counter examples” such as Sweden, are not valid, since Sweden realized their mistake, reversed course, and abandoned socialism; Sweden is now a predominately Free Market economy, albeit with heavy welfare-state tax burdens; they allow individuals to own the means of production and to freely trade with one another.) 

America’s regression from free market individualism for the last century has not been “socialism” per se.  It is a sub-species of socialism more accurately called “Fascism”.  (And I see Fascism, in its essence, as both a right-wing and left-wing ideology.)  Mussolini, a renowned Marxist in his youth, saw the failures of pure socialism (and its sub-species, Communism in Russia).  He saw that “social ownership” fails.  He drew upon his reading of the one hugely successful economy, that of the USA.  He studied the American Pragmatist philosophers, who said to disregard theoretical principles and just go with “what works”.  He saw that American capitalism worked, creating vast economic improvement for the entire society, especially including the working classes.  He also read and admired the American “Progressive” intellectuals and their (regressive) advocacy of greater government control over the stupid masses. 

(Interlude:  Why do I say that the American Progressive movement of a century ago was actually a “regressive” movement?  Woodrow Wilson had complete contempt for the US Constitution’s limitations on government power.  His, and other Progressives’, racism was evident, e.g., in America but also on their despising and blocking foreign immigrants.  Eugenics, coercively controlling individuals’ reproduction because they didn’t like their cultural presence.  War lust – leading Wilsonian Progressive Herbert Croly, in The New Republic (1917) urged the entry into the insane meatgrinder of WWI, because, “America needs the tonic of a serious moral adventure.” WTF?   Prohibition of alcohol – and the start of the War on Drugs, an outrageous act of puritan nanny state hubris that still unjustly criminalizes millions of Americans for peaceful, free enterprise individualistic activity.  The Income Tax, which countless Supreme Court decisions earlier had seen as unconstitutional; yet the Progressives got an Amendment passed.  The major sin of the Progressives was that they were elitists who thought they had both the wisdom and the right to legislate over the rest of us common folk and make us fall into line because it was for “our own good”, whether we knew it or not.  The obscene hubris of those who crave government powers.  The Progressives’ program of the seizure of immense government coercive power was actually raw Fascism, even as Mussolini was codifying it with a name.  Mussolini, before war broke out between the US and Italy, publicly admired FDR’s New Deal programs, writing that Roosevelt was “a good social-fascist.”) 

Re:  Is it socialism or is it fascism?  Before WW2, when Hitler had gained complete control of Germany, a European socialist journalist interviewed Hitler.  He asked (and I paraphrase): “You call yourselves National Socialists [NAZI], yet you have not socialized/ nationalized private property or industries under government control (social ownership).  How can you still call yourselves socialist?”  Hitler replied: “We don’t need to nationalize/ socialize private property under social ownership.  We have nationalized-socialized the people, therefore control of their property just follows naturally.”  Fascism is just a more “practical” species of socialism that allows its serfs to produce more by their pretended ownership and free agency, while the governing elite still expropriates their product. 

Thus, the relative economic successes of socialist regimes who have gone over to Mussolini’s model of social-fascism:  e.g., the People’s Republic of China, whose “social ownership” ideal of Marxian socialism still maintains their grotesque one-party dictatorship grip on everyone, while at the same time being “pragmatic” by learning from Hong Kong’s spectacular economic success when being by far the most free-enterprise economy in the world for a brief time.  Red China allows people to (nominally) own, to hugely produce and to profit (to a degree), and their economy has ballooned spectacularly.  But not so much their civil liberties, since they are still under the socialist “social ownership” principle.  Individuals there do not own themselves.  The government is the ultimate social owner. 

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In other news:  Thailand has recently suffered a significant Second Wave of Covid infections, after many months of remarkably holding the line on increases.  A nation with a population size comparable to the UK, we have only had 61 Covid deaths this entire year, and our hospitals are never overly busy.  We wear masks and follow medical advice.  The most recent Covid death was the first here in two months. 

This Second Wave has mainly been from people coming into Thailand.  When they come legally, they are put into a two-week quarantine with testing before being let loose.  But many others sneak across borders.  Legal migrant workers are often crammed together in unsanitary lodgings.  The two biggest centers of infection this month were among Burmese migrant workers in a seafood processing center and other Thais in an illegal gambling den. 

The virus has spread quickly, and we are expecting the government to have drastic restrictions return on any group activities, as they did last spring.  Time to stock up on necessities and hunker down.  Dukkha – the shit just keeps raining down – such is life. 

Happy New Year to all, nonetheless. 

-Zenwind. 

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Wearing Down, Yet Looking Up

 

Everything in this world tends to wear out over time.  Being finite is the rule.  Indeed, the Earth itself is in an inexorable trend to wear out – or at least to “wear down”, as the science of geology makes clear, that discipline of Deep Time.  Erosion ages the mountain ranges and washes them to the sea. 

My own physical strength, for one, has been slowly wearing out and eroding – as I’m sure yours has been (or one day will, for you relatively youngsters).  It’s the Sisyphus task, that endless uphill battle. 

Exercise helps delay the physical decay, but for many of us who are aging we tend to focus much more of our time on intellectual concerns – rigorous personal philosophical-ethical audits, checking our premises, and honest summings-up of a long eventful lifetime, with a view to learn from our vast repertoire of experiences and mistakes, and thus apply our reason to best enjoy whatever life span remains to us. 

Like the prayer of Moses in Psalm 90:  “Teach us to number our days, so that we may get a heart of wisdom.” 

My eyesight is changing quite radically, deteriorating.  Part of it is a developing cataract in one eye, but the rest of it is most likely the process of aging.  I have worn eyeglasses for distant vision since childhood.  When I was about 48 years old, I needed bifocal glasses for close-vision reading.  Now, at 70, I cannot read or focus on anything close with my bifocals, and this is probably another age-related change.  It is hard to see distance, too, so I could probably never get a driver’s license again unless a major correction. 

Yet – Looking up:

In recent days I took advantage of a rare day of low toxic air pollution (PM2.5) in the area and did a very long march hauling groceries, exercise I needed.  Today, I resumed my lifting routine with my dumbbells.  When I pace myself carefully ("numbering my days"), I can avoid injuries and build up strength (and perhaps get a “heart of wisdom” in the bargain).  Ain’t giving up. 

I am a hermit, and I relish the quiet peaceful time I still get to read and think.  As a secular Buddhist, the First Discourse’s Four Tasks are about all I need for the simple practice of serenity.  The life of the mind. 

I have a wonderful wife, who somehow puts up with my eccentric ways.  I have a close extended family in America, as well as friends and former students there, that I still correspond with.  I have great expat friends here.  I think I am as blessed and contented as Epicurus was, retired in his Garden in ancient Athens. 

A lifetime of learning – and of hard lessons – and many great and wonderful experiences.  Great memories, such as my climbing adventures (which I still often relive in dreams at night, e.g., cresting a summit ridge), past lovers, books read, intellectual comrades, and all the many interesting folks I’ve crossed paths with.  Great past; great present; great future. 

I am looking forward to many more decades of such an incredible life, even as Time is intent on wearing me down. 

-Zenwind. 

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Yule-Midwinter Solstice Trek

 

Today was about as cool and comfortable as it ever gets here in the Central Plains.  The sun is warm but the wind is cool in the shade.  Low dewpoint and dawn temp in the 60s*F.  Like a fine summer day in Sugar Grove.  The air quality index (for PM-2.5 pollution) was the lowest in weeks.  All this signaled a chance to take a long walk in the neighborhood (with an N95 mask). 

I woke up at around 03:00 feeling cold.  I turned off the fan, but my bare feet were still cold, so I put a light blanket over my feet and legs – something I haven’t done in years. 

The most dreaded task of the morning was my shower.  Our house has never had hot water, so our water is whatever temp the environment is.  That is never much of a problem, usually.  Today, it was incredibly cold, by our standards.  Our veranda shower is outdoors, so that the cool morning wind really increased the effect of the cold water. 

Once I was bathed and stopped shivering, I ventured out on errands.  One, buy cat litter.  Two, get needed things at the pharmacy.  In all, it added up to quite a long bit of marching, more exercise than I had done in a long time because of the usual toxic PM-2.5 smog.  At first, I felt weak while walking, which was alarming and did not enhance my Zen.  But after a few kilometers, I got into my usual stride and really stepped out, feeling good. 

A curious thing about this midwinter solstice time of year:  the sun is at an odd angle I am usually not used to.  It produces a strong glare, even with sunglasses on.  Wearing a hat with a large brim, along with sunglasses, helps. 

The minutes and hours of daylight will now start increasing.  Rebirth of the Sun.  Happy Yuletide to all. 

-Zenwind. 

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Fitness Decline

 

My physical fitness is again hitting an annual low during this Cool Season, a season that normally would, in years past, encourage optimal outdoor exercise but which is now impossible due to the recent seasonal toxic air pollution (PM-2.5).  Farmers illegally burn their rice stalks and cane, foully polluting the air with lung-damaging shit, and no one can remedy this because farmers are a major democratic voting bloc.  (And because politicians are all whores, they sell their favors of power and law to the most voters.)  Add to this smoke the diesel fumes of a huge city and the fact that no wind blows it all away. 

Greater Bangkok’s air is rated “Very Unhealthy” for all groups of people.  We have all been wearing masks because of the Covid-19 pandemic for a long time, but I wear a mask these days mainly to protect my lungs whenever venturing outside. 

I foresaw this and did a short trial membership in a Bangkok gym, one that has a good balance of having one of the best indoor climbing walls around plus treadmills and weight rooms.  Yet the commuting time – one hour each way – and the difficulty I have on the climbing wall all make it impractical for me.  (I am 70 years old and haven’t climbed in 15 years, plus my old climbing styles were friction and crack climbing, not the strictly face-climb “sport” routes on these indoor walls.)  

The commute itself was exhausting.  Take the subway; then connect with the elevated Skytrain system; then connect with the gym’s small hourly shuttle bus schedule.  The unkindest cut of all was waiting outside an upscale mall for the shuttle, where they loudly played Christmas music – and not even good renditions of that dread genre.  That in itself seriously disrupted my Zen. 

I may someday build up enough arm strength to go back to indoor climbing walls in the various gyms in the city.  Maybe.  But now I must work with my dumbbell weights at home.  And I must utilize my home treadmill more – while wearing an N95 mask because our house is not sealed well at all against the toxic pollution.  It is Sisyphus, forever laboring to muscle his huge rock up the mountain, with no redemption in sight. 

-Zenwind. 

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Climbing Wall, Rock Music, & Fat Cat

My main events in the last two weeks involved several separate days of long travel on public transport into the city.  Our LP meet-up was, as always, a stimulating delight.  I stopped late at the Rock Pub to hear Mundee, who played “Rock and Roll” by Zeppelin, and a week later I got to hear the full evening set of Munson, who played that same favorite song.  I got a much-needed haircut and visited a gym to check out their climbing wall and facilities. 

Movies are few and mediocre, but they fill in wait time while avoiding rush hour; they are air conditioned and have comfortable lounge areas, and I get cheap senior rate half-prices.  The refusal of Thais to stand up in theaters while the Royal Anthem is being played to honor the King is a definite new and shocking occurrence.  By my very rough count most recently, there were 30 of us in the theater (I was the only farang and almost everyone I could see was a Thai adult), and only 10 of us stood up while 20 remained seated.  A year ago: unimaginable!  The times they are a’ changing. 

I joined a downtown gym for a one-month trial, and the climbing wall is excellent.  I haven’t climbed in 15 years, so it was rough, and add to that the fact that climbing standards of difficulty have evolved tremendously.  The “easiest” climbs on their walls are at the limits of my (onetime) abilities when I climbed in the 70s and 90s, and they are face-climbs, not the crack or friction climbs I was most familiar with.  My forearms have been aching for days after. 

I hire a certified belayer for an hour, and the staff there are great.  When I go back this next week, I will resist trying to do “pure” graded routes – which are of such difficulty for me that it risks injury and only limits my climbing time – and I will instead just climb randomly on the wall, mixing holds from any nearby (and separately graded) routes to make it much easier so I can just stretch out this old body and regain the feel of climbing again in a more relaxed and meditative manner.  

That is similar to my old routines at Rimrock and Jakes Rocks after the thaw in springtime, when I had to slowly regain my feel on rock after a long winter.  I will also try to do more down-climbing while on belay after reaching the top, instead of being lowered on tension – because I’ve always thought down-climbing was essential practice (especially for free solo climbers and lead climbers), and it adds immeasurably to one’s psychological and physical technique.  It’s re-training time for me!  Ooh rah! 

After a long day in the city, and coming home late to avoid rush hour and to catch some evening Rock music, there I see Fat Cat waiting at the gate to greet me after midnight as I approach. 

-Zenwind. 

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Rooster Crow; Taxi Ride

Today I took a taxi to the provincial Immigration Office for my routine 90-Day Report of Address.  It was not crowded, so it went smoothly and quickly.  I will go again in February, and then the big visit in March for my Extension of Stay based on retirement (the red tape nightmare of the year). 

The return taxi driver took an alternative route home, part of it through areas of the greater Bangkok “suburbs” that I’d never seen.  He drove fast through tightly-cornered narrow streets, taking his hands off the wheel momentarily to give a respectful wai whenever coming to a temple and monastery.  And there were a lot of temples on this route, many smaller old ones in poorer areas.  It was a scenic, and thrilling, ride, but I was glad to have a good seatbelt fastened. 

The rains have ended, but the river is still high from upcountry runoff.  The humidity and dewpoints are lower and more comfortable, although the direct sunlight is hot.  In the shade, the breezes are wonderful relief. 

Someone in the neighborhood now has a rooster that crows, and I just realized that there hasn’t been one around here for years.  During my first years here, there were always one or two around.  I have always enjoyed hearing them, as it reminds me of fond childhood memories on the farm. 

-Zenwind. 

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Routines, Protests, Theaters

It is mid-October, and I do miss the autumn leaves in NW Pennsylvania at this time of year.  Here, we are still in the Rainy Season, which makes it a bit cooler than usual. 

The political protests here in Thailand of the younger generation are significant.  As I had written earlier, below, the young demonstrators have taken the unheard-of radical position of criticizing the Thai monarchy itself, which in itself can put you in prison for years.  The protests have been peaceful thus far, but I see two very powerful cultural forces heading on a direct collision course someday soon.  I was in the city yesterday – for a haircut, movie, and meet up with farang friends – and the mass transit was not very crowded, and yet I saw street vehicle traffic blocked up far more than normal in mid-afternoon, indicating there was action in the streets somewhere.  Sure enough, news reports say there were thousands protesting. 

My daily routines: I awake, open my tablet and first check my daily to-do list on my Evernote account (which is synced with my laptop and phone).  Then I check my Gmail Calendar, then my favorite weather forecast site for the day’s weather, and only then can I check my email and daily local news, and then fine-tune my plans for the day.  Then I mix some whey protein with skim milk, and wash down some daily morning meds with it.  Half an hour later I have a light breakfast, followed up by a daily multi-vitamin/ multi-mineral tablet. 

On any given day, I may do local food shopping and walking, or stay home and exercise.  Sometimes I go further afield to grocery stores with a more complete selection, and maybe a movie.  Movie selection is very thin, with old films showing as well as the very few newer releases.  Movie attendance is still incredibly low, with only three or so other folks spread out in the big empty theaters (during weekday afternoons, when I have always attended to avoid crowds). 

One striking new development I’ve just noticed in movie theaters is that a few Thai people are refusing to stand up when the King’s anthem is played before the film.  I’ve never seen this happen in all my years here.  Just before any film starts, a notice always appears on the screen in Thai and in English, asking everyone to stand up out of respect for the King while they show some clips of the current king’s life and play the royal anthem.  For the late King Rama IX (d. 2016), everyone stood because he was so highly respected.  But his son, now the reigning Rama X, never had as much respect and recognition as his father.  I just noticed about two weeks ago in a theater that only half of us were standing, which astounded me.  Yesterday, only two of us out of about half a dozen in the theater were standing.  A sign of things to come?  Wow!  

-Zenwind. 

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