I'm Free!

 

   So long, Sancho Panza.  I’m finally free of the urinary catheters that I’ve been hooked up to and that have been my constant sidekicks for the last eight months.  I had been able to exercise quite hard with them, but they were exasperating annoyances. 

   A week ago, I had TURP surgery (Trans-Urethral Recission of the Prostate), and was in hospital for three nights recuperating.  The hospital staff were all great, and they made the bedrest time very pleasant.  When the catheter was removed, three days after surgery, and I could freely pee again, I was discharged.  After five or six days, my urine was free of visible blood.  And, I’ve never felt any pain the entire time. 

   It is so wonderful to at last be able to just jump into a pair of pants without the intricate hassle of rigging the catheter and tubes.  I no longer have to be super-careful about all my movements, lest I snag the tube. 

   Again, just like my preparation for my cataract surgery in November, I’m glad I waited until I was physically fit before opting for an operation that would force me to rest and be inactive for a while post-op.  My long routine of stair climbing with dumbbells made it so that now, with enforced rest, I still feel quite fit. 

   I will have a follow-up with my urologist in ten days, and he will advise me on when I can start exercising again and at what intensity.  I can hardly wait.  To stop moving is to stagnate.  Excelsior! 

-Zenwind. 

.

Rainbow

   We had a nice cool rain this afternoon, and the air is now fresh and clean.  There was a nice rainbow high in the East South East.  It reminded me of the many times I would see one over the big chickencoop in Sugar Grove. 

   The weather reports have been calling for nearly certain rain showers each day, but, so far, they are often false alarms.  Yet one must have an umbrella when out, just in case.  But soon we will have steady rainy days. 

   I enjoy watching squirrels and birds from the back veranda.  Having my cataract surgery done was an excellent decision.  It is easier to use binoculars, and I don’t have to fumble with glasses.  Aristotle was right:  one of our great delights is our sense of sight. 

   I am a reading addict, so I must force myself to get up and exercise regularly.  Tomorrow is Sunday, my favorite morning for my stair climbing march down by the bridge, since there’s nobody on the sidewalks and it’s at its most quiet. 

   I’m feeling strong enough now to have my prostate surgery, which I will try to schedule for some time in July. 

-Zenwind. 

.

Towel Day

 

   Today, May 25, is Towel Day, an important intragalactic holiday.  On this day, we hitchhikers proudly carry our towel everywhere to salute Douglas Adams (1952-2001), author of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.  Without his Guide, we would be lost in our galactic wanderings, and we would forget to always pack that essential towel. 

   Here in Thailand, our Hot Season has morphed into the Rainy Season.  It is still uncomfortably humid and hot, still Sweat City, and a towel is an absolute necessity as we slog through Samsara. 

   Re: my Roadwork exercise routine (high stair-climbing along the Chao Phraya River with 2kg weights in each hand; 6 steep stairways; 2.5km in 47 minutes).  I’m entering my 5th week of 3 sessions per week, and I’m starting to feel that power buzz.  It strengthens my legs, feet, back and gut. 

   This week I will consult with my urologist to plan upcoming prostate surgery.  I want to be sure to be fit and strong before it is done, as I will then spend downtime in hospital and recovery. 

-Zenwind. 

.

Fat Cat, RIP

   The last of our cats has passed away.  Fat Cat died of old-age and increasing disability.  She was getting gray and weaker only in the last half-year.  She had wandered into our courtyard many years ago with no history, so we don’t know how old she really was.  At the time, we had other cats in the house, and she fought with them, so she lived outside under the eaves for a few years until they all died.  From homeless to housecat, she found numerous hideaway nooks in the house to sleep in private.  She was not an affectionate cat, but she did like Tuk, following her around. 

   Earlier, about one year ago or so, my cat, Pinky, died at 17 years old.  I never wrote about this, because I really didn’t know what to say.  She was special, and was very shy and stayed mostly in my room.  During the night, I would wake up to find her sleeping with her head resting on my ankle, so I had to be careful when moving or rolling over.  She liked to have her tummy rubbed and relished having her face brushed with a stiff brush.  I miss her. 

   In other news, I’m still chained to a urinary catheter and will need some major surgery so I can pee again.  The prostate has shrunk, but scar tissue is blocking my urethra.  I’m not sure how this surgery will go. 

   I have become determined to get physically fit before any serious operation, because I know I’ll be laid up for a while after.  So, I’ve begun my old heavy hands stair-climbing routine again.  Back to only 1 kg in each hand, I walk 2.5 km and climb 6 high stairways – stairs up to the river bridge and pedestrian flyovers.  I’m calling this routine my “Roadwork”, because it reminds me of boxers’ aerobic training.  Next week, I aim to wield 2 kg dumbbells.  That’s the plan, anyway. 

-Zenwind. 

.

Earthquake

 

   Early this afternoon, we felt effects of the earthquake (7.7) that hit central Burma/Myanmar.  (My rough guess is that it was around 600 miles from us.)  It brought down a high building under construction in northern Bangkok and has shaken a lot of folks up, many of whom were evacuated into the street from high buildings.  This doesn’t happen much in Thailand. 

   I didn’t feel anything and didn’t even know there was an earthquake until Tuk came into my ground-floor kitchen very excited.  I had just returned from a grocery shopping trip and was busy unloading stuff from my pack.  I was on my feet and didn’t feel any ground motion at all.  The only unusual thing to me immediately upon my return was a noise from above in my second-floor area.  I thought it might be Tuk up there using a broom and being clumsy and noisy about it, hitting the wooden handle against the wall or stair railings – yet she rarely goes up there, so I was mildly puzzled. 

   Then Tuk comes into my kitchen exclaiming about an earthquake.  She went on about sitting in her ground-floor living room and thinking that she was dizzy; then she saw overhead powerlines outside swaying and heard the glass sliding doors on her living room rattle. 

   I was skeptical at first.  In my second-floor bedroom, I’ve often felt my bed sway any time big trucks and buses rumbled by on the street below.  It feels just like a mild earthquake.  Our old brick building sits on soft alluvial sediments, and it shakes like jelly when big vehicles go by, so I had always wondered what the effect of an actual earthquake would be like.  Scanning the news, BBC was first to break the news that an earthquake in Burma had indeed affected Bangkok.  And I think this explains the unusual knocking noises coming from upstairs. 

   Nothing in the house seems to have been damaged or even disrupted, nothing knocked over, etc. 

-Zenwind. 

.

Last Cool Day; Exercise

 

   I think today will be the last cool one this season, because forecasts predict that, starting tomorrow, temperatures will rise radically along with much more intense humidity – i.e., oppressive dew points every day.  The dread Sweat City is approaching for the next several months. 

   Re: my exercise routines.  I stopped exercising after 21 November last year when I had my cataract surgery.  The eye doc forbad it since it would take a month for my eyes to heal.  Also, I stopped micro-dosing Cannabis then because I mainly use it for goading me to exercise, and I vaguely knew of its effects on eye pressure.  (Cannabis had historically been recommended for certain glaucoma treatment, since it affected eyeball pressure; I didn’t know the details, but I thought I should stop toking pot just to be safe.)  And, since marijuana is one of the most dramatic incentives for me to exercise with vigor, I lost the inspiration to work out. 

   In the weeks after my eye surgery, I had my prostate crisis.  Enlarged, but benign, prostate meant a catheter and the Rezum surgery on 3 January.  That surgery didn’t work.  The continuing need for a catheter is fundamentally restricting, and my old exercise routines of radical stair-climbing had to stop.  I have become a couch potato, only reading or watching films, not moving enough. 

   I have lost an incredible amount of muscle.  One worry is that, with weakening core muscles, my crippling sciatica pains will return.  I’ve already felt the beginnings of such pain.  What exercises could be possible to keep from collapsing into such downward-spiraling weakness?  Maybe some dumbbell work and Yoga for the upper body and core – while restricting the legwork only to stretches, moderate walks, and no radical stair climbing. 

   But my months of inactivity have let me slide into a mindset of sloth.  That’s a tough morass to clamber back up out of.  What can inspire me again?  Cannabis! 

   I have again tried micro-dosing with two tokes of weed.  It is amazingly transformative; in that it immediately gets me into a Tai Chi workout that is focused and that makes me work on so many different muscle groups with mindful concentration.  Not just token Tai Chi movements – but intense focus on all needed muscles that need waking up and care.  The incredible awareness of my physical body is beyond compare.  Cannabis is excellent medicine when used in moderation. 

   Also in these weed sessions, I moderately do my USMC calisthenics, Yoga and stretches.  Then I do the Tai Chi and calisthenics with lite dumbbells. 

   Throughout my life, a micro-dose of marijuana has encouraged me to physically move out, work out, and aspire to greater things.  It is life-affirming. 

   After full exercise routines today, I sat out on my camp lounger on the veranda, watching the day cool down.  Maybe the last comfortable evening for a while.  Pairs of birds race by.  The wind is still.  There’s a lot of silence, punctuated by bird calls.  Life is good. 

-Zenwind. 

.

End of the Cool

 

   We’ve had remarkably comfortable weather for this, our “winter” Cool Season.  Nighttime lows have sometimes gotten down into the high 60s*F, and daytime highs rarely got up into the 90s.  Dewpoints have been consistently low for long stretches, longer than I can ever remember here, with an incredible lack of oppressive humidity and sweating.  The only discomfort is when you’re in the hot tropical sun. 

   This comfortable weather has made it easier for me to recover from eye surgery and ongoing prostate problems. 

   Unfortunately, higher dewpoints and temperatures will arrive soon as the extreme Hot Season looms ahead in the next couple of months.  And, most unfortunately, my prostate problems continue to disrupt my life. 

   I had prostate surgery on 3 January (the Rexum “steam treatment” therapy).  Luckily, prostate cancer has been ruled out, but my prostate is still extremely enlarged and I still have to wear a urinary catheter in order to drain my bladder.  This cramps my style, to say the least.  Like a ball and chain, I must wear my catheter – the current one is the third I’ve been fitted with over two months; I call its collection bag “Sancho III” – and it’s with me from bedtime to shower to any other activities of the day and night, 24/7.  The prostate has still not shrunk enough, so Sancho is by my side for the next two months.  I do hope that more prostate surgery will not be needed after that. 

   All my physical exercise programs had been halted, starting ten weeks ago when I had my eye surgery.  I still cannot exert myself with the catheter.  This lack of exercise is alarming.  In a couple of weeks, I will be 75, and, with aging, it becomes harder and harder to build up and maintain physical conditioning and strength.  (What was it that Moses said?  “Teach us to number our days, that we may get a heart of wisdom.” – Psalm 90)

   I’m numbering the days to when I’m free of this damn catheter and, hopefully, free of current prostate problems, and then I can start moving out again, rambling on foot (or, shuffling along as best I can), climbing stairs, working out with light weights, and generally getting strong again.  Hope is stubborn.  Maybe I’ll gain some wisdom out of the whole ordeal. 

-Zenwind. 

.

Eventful Few Months

 

   I haven’t posted here since 2 September.  My laptop is unreliable and often failing me, so I haven’t been writing.  There has also been a lot going on here. 

   My father-in-law, Decha, died on 11 September at age 92 after a long decline in health.  I simply didn’t know what to say about this at the time, but I will try to write more about his funeral in a future post.  Mother-in-law, who is suffering from Alzheimer’s dementia, has been staying with brother-in-law since Father’s initial hospitalization, and she will probably remain there.  So, our house is now very quiet. 

   Tuk is doing fine, and our one remaining cat has regained health after a spell of illness. 

   I have had some major health issues of my own.  One month ago, I had cataract surgery which replaced both my natural eye lenses with synthetic ones, correcting for far vision so that I don’t need glasses anymore except for very close fine reading.  Despite the long healing process, I am very pleased with the results.  I was surprised by not only the return of visual detail but the colors of the world that I had been missing.  Today was the day I was finally allowed to wash my face again, meaning the healing is over. 

   While in the hospital, the day after eye surgery, my prostate problems got alarmingly worse.  When I had blood in my urine I saw my urologist.  It was a bladder infection along with increasing enlargement of my prostate.  I was fitted with a urinary catheter, and the collection bag is like a ball and chain that limits my traveling and exercising.  (I call it Sancho, always with me.)  I had the catheter removed last week to see if I could urinate; I could not, so they had to put in another one.  I need to make choices about prostate surgery soon. 

   With this Double Whammy of ailments that have forced me to be inactive, I am grateful for two things.  One, I wisely waited for eye surgery until the end of the Rainy Season and the start of the Cool Season, when we have our short window of comfortable weather, with low humidity and no excessive sweating.  And, two, for the prior several months I had been exercising hard and building up strength, with rigorous stair-climbing in the neighborhood while wielding hand weights.  I was strong, and my back pains were absent.  However, a month of inactivity will mean a slow re-start of my workouts, and this damn catheter will be a nuisance for the immediate future. 

   I’m looking forward to a better New Year.  And I hope to write more.  Have great holidays! 

-Zenwind. 

.

The Aging of my Parents-in-law

 

   (I missed my monthly posting here for August; been quite busy.) 

   Tuk's parents are extremely aged and steadily failing in health.  The circumstances of our caring for them has been drastically altered in the last month. 

   Father-in-law is 92 and weakening at an alarming rate.  Tuk got him to the hospital due to breathing problems, and he was in ICU for a while.  His decline in strength has been over several years, but accelerating recently. 

   Father's communication – at least with me – has been in similar decline.  Many years ago, I could carry on a limited but good conversation with him.  In the last couple of years, our verbal communication has broken down.  I still give him a respectful wai salute the first time we make eye contact each and every day, as I have since the first day I met him.  I will place my hand on his shoulder, and he will look at me with a smile and a silent laugh.  No words from him.  Now, he can barely open his eyes. 

   I wish so much that I could talk with him about his lifelong immersion in Buddhism, about his take on living in this world of Dukkha (i.e., what the early Buddhists in China had called "this Great Matter of Birth and Death"), and about his thoughts on his coming death. 

   He will never return home from the hospital.  We are not physically able to care for him at home, since he is completely bedridden.  Tuk was there with him most of the days and nights during his ICU stay at the private hospital, and now we have had to transfer him to a government hospital for basic end-of-life care.  Tuk visits him twice a day during the midday and evening visiting hours.  He is slowly fading, going gently into that Good Night. 

   Mother-in-law has been spiraling down into more helplessness due to her Alzheimer's dementia.  Brother-in-law has taken her to his home, caring for her there with some help.  She is extremely thin and fragile, fading. 

   Their generation is passing on.  Time:  what an unfathomable attribute of entities!  (Wasn't it Aristotle who said that Time is a kind of "measurement of motion"?)  We are all moving through Time, in one direction.  Dukkha. 

-Zenwind. 

.

Rains

 

   The last Full Moon, one week ago, was the holiday of Asalha Puja, or Dharma Day.  It celebrates the Buddha's first discourse, in which he taught the Four Tasks and the Eightfold Path.  The day after is the beginning of the Rains Retreat in countries of Hinayana/ Theravada Buddhism, where monks stay close to their monasteries for the next three months due to the Rainy Monsoon starting and thus making travel difficult. 

   The skies are usually overcast now, and it may rain at any time, sometimes hard.  Although the humidity is still with us, it is much more comfortable now, since the sun is blocked and there are often fine breezes.  An umbrella is indispensable when venturing out. 

-Zenwind. 

.